I am tired of reading what WOMEN can do to prevent rape. It is not up to us to prevent rape it is up to MEN to stop raping. What is so difficult about that to understand? Why should we be kept under lock and key, especially when night falls? Why should we have to watch what we say, wear, drink or do in order for us not to be raped? What bit do men and some women not get, that we should not have to do anything to prevent being raped?
Men need to stop raping us, what is so difficult to understand about this statement.We need to stop molly coddling men as some sort of out of control privileged and entitlement seeking little boys.In stead of putting the onus on to us how about.
From The F-word blog:
If a woman is drunk, don’t rape her.
If a woman is walking alone at night, don’t rape her.
If a woman is drugged and unconscious, don’t rape her.
If a woman is wearing a short skirt, don’t rape her.
If a woman is jogging in a park at 5 am, don’t rape her.
If a woman looks like your ex-girlfriend you’re still hung up on, don’t rape her.
If a woman is asleep in her bed, don’t rape her.
If a woman is asleep in your bed, don’t rape her.
If a woman is doing her laundry, don’t rape her.
If a woman is in a coma, don’t rape her.
If a woman changes her mind in the middle of or about a particular activity, don’t rape her.
If a woman has repeatedly refused a certain activity, don’t rape her.
If a woman is not yet a woman, but a child, don’t rape her.
If your girlfriend or wife is not in the mood, don’t rape her.
If your step-daughter is watching TV, don’t rape her.
If you break into a house and find a woman there, don’t rape her.
If your friend thinks it’s okay to rape someone, tell him it’s not, and that he’s not your friend.
If your “friend” tells you he raped someone, report him to the police.
If your frat-brother or another guy at the party tells you there’s an unconscious woman upstairs and it’s your turn, don’t rape her, call the police and tell the guy he’s a rapist.
Tell your sons, god-sons, nephews, grandsons, sons of friends it’s not okay to rape someone.
Don’t tell your women friends how to be safe and avoid rape.
Don’t imply that she could have avoided it if she’d only done/not done x.
Don’t imply that it’s in any way her fault.
Don’t let silence imply agreement when someone tells you he “got some” with the drunk girl.
Don’t perpetuate a culture that tells you that you have no control over or responsibility for your actions. You can, too, help yourself.
If you agree, re-post it. It’s that important. -Author unknown.
Oh, what is this astounding new concept? Am I hearing correctly? This is unheard of! Men, taking responibility? Men, being accountable because all they have to do to stop doing something is to errr…stop doing it? This is an astonishing breakthrough and needs an official steering committee for serious and complicated analysis and academic discussion to ensure that we have got it right (remember, it’s our responsibility and our problem)! Someone please make sure they also tell the FACkers! Oh what are the poor things going to do? (or not do should I say?) heheh
While it’s not up to women to prevent rape, I have no issue with women who pull out handguns and blow the balls off of would-be rapists.
I actually read that on there myself today and while it’s a very detailed run down of the situations in which rape has been known to occur, I did just think surely saying “DON’T RAPE ANYONE! REPORT RAPE IF YOU BECOME AWARE OF IT!” is more to the point. No fucker out there that wants to do that is going to take a blind bit of notice of that list.
It was encouraging to read but it just point out our futility in this really. It’s certainly going to be enlightening for me when I come to be working with a rapist and I find out how I’m going to react.
CoolAunt – while my job *forbids* me from advocating crime, i have to say – fuck it, you’re right on the money!!
Nor do I, CoolAunt.
Dare I say, it just may act as the deterrent they need to stop raping??
Defendant: He was asking for it, your honour. He touched me without my permission so I blew his head off.
Judge*: You are free to go. As far as this court is concerned, no crime has been committed. Next!
[...] I thought this was such a good message, that I too would repeat it. Thanks to Laura (and Sparkle) via the F-Word blog. Someone suggested the author may be Flea, however, I have checked the archives back to 01 Sep 2005 and cannot find it. It is also similar to a post that BB (The Rapist Checklist) did back in November 2005. A lot has been said about how to prevent rape. Women should learn self-defense. Women should lock themselves in their houses after dark. Women shouldn’t have long hair and women shouldn’t wear short skirts. Women shouldn’t leave drinks unattended. Hell, they shouldn’t dare to get drunk at all. Instead of that bullshit, how about: [...]
I like how genuine suggestions on how to avoid harm are taken to be some sort of insult. We should apply this to every facet of life. It’s not MY responsibility to look both ways before crossing the street, it’s THEIR responsibility to not hit me.
Why are women told to watch their drinks?
Not leave their drinks un-guarded.
Yup, I get it, a girl has got to watch her back, her purse, her crotch, who she is dancing by… but why aren’t the pill-posessing predators being addressed?
Why is the burden always placed upon the woman?
Why should a woman on a night-out live in fear of rape and have to have a rape-radar overshadowing a good night on the town?
Where are the campaigns on the BBC addressing the bestial rapists who lurk targetting these attackers?
Why are they untouchable?
[...] This is such an appropriate first post for this blog now that it has moved to WordPress. Thanks to Laura (and Sparkle) via the F-Word blog. Someone suggested the author may be Flea, however, I have checked the archives back to 01 Sep 2005 and cannot find it. It is also similar to a post that BB (The Rapist Checklist) did back in November 2005. A lot has been said about how to prevent rape. Women should learn self-defense. Women should lock themselves in their houses after dark. Women shouldn’t have long hair and women shouldn’t wear short skirts. Women shouldn’t leave drinks unattended. Hell, they shouldn’t dare to get drunk at all. Instead of that bullshit, how about: [...]
“I like how genuine suggestions on how to avoid harm are taken to be some sort of insult. We should apply this to every facet of life. It’s not MY responsibility to look both ways before crossing the street, it’s THEIR responsibility to not hit me.’
Are you planning on being an asshole in every thread in this blog?
Car accidents happen by mistake. If drivers were purposefully mowing down pedestrians the way rapists purposefully target their victims you might have a point.
Ginmar also wrote two good checklists about what men can do about rape and also what rape is:
http://ginmar.livejournal.com/474570.html
If women decided to barricade themsleves off from men entirely, men would still find a way to rape them, and men would still manage to twist it to make it all the womans’ fault. It’s a no-win these days for women. The patriarchy is an asshole (there is not a strong enough word to describe the whole system and who controls it, so that word will have to do.)
Del – “Car accidents happen by mistake. If drivers were purposefully mowing down pedestrians the way rapists purposefully target their victims you might have a point. ”
You’d think this would be obvious and clear, but apparently basic logicl eludes trolls.
Isn’t it “funny” how every time someone posts this list suggested that *gasp* men should be held accountable for what they choose to do with their own penises, people come out of the woodwork to tell us what a stupid idea it is and how worthless it is and how all the (worthless) lists of things women can do to “avoid” rape (which suggests women just walk into rape as one would walk into a pothole on the sidewalk because they aren’t watching where they are going) are really just “showing concern for women’s well being”?
Rape isn’t a pothole on the sidewalk, contrary to the oh so popular little homily I have seen until it makes me want to vomit (about how women learn how not to be hurt, via an analogy about falling into a hole and eventually learning to walk around it.) As I have illustrated via ACTUAL STATISTICS AND FACTS on my blog, the most common thing women are doing right before they are raped is SLEEPING IN THEIR OWN FUCKING BED, IN THEIR OWN FIUCKING HOUSE. The most common thing women do to “get themselves raped” is to be under the age of 18 and live in a home with a male relative.
There are no safe places for women. Not in the street, not in their homes, not going out for the evening, not going to school or university, not at the workplace, not at the church, not in war, not in peacetime. Nowhere.
And women have to wary of men that they don’t know, men that they DO know.
“get themselves raped”
nicely makes the perps invisible, somewhat akin to ‘get themselves pregnant’.
“Car accidents happen by mistake. If drivers were purposefully mowing down pedestrians the way rapists purposefully target their victims you might have a point.”
Alright, then. Take home robberies. If someone suggests to you to lock your door and keep valuables hidden and safe, do you yell back that it’s not your responsibility to keep your belongings safe, it’s the robbers’ responsiblity to not rob you?
Should men rape women? No, of course not. Should, and will, they be punished? Yes, definately. But in the mean time, there are sick people out there who will rape, just like people will steal, kill, lie and hate. Suggesting ways to protect yourself isn’t blaming you or some conspiracy. When you tell your kids not to go into a stranger’s car, are you part of some vast underground pedophile conspiracy trying to blame children for their own molestation?
This’ll surely get me into hot water, but I agree with the troll on these two points. (I’d have preferred that he not phrase his statements as questions. Using questions to make statements comes across as confrontational. Besides, questions mean that the writer doesn’t know and is asking. Weak.)
“…If someone suggests to you to lock your door and keep valuables hidden and safe, do you yell back that it’s not your responsibility to keep your belongings safe, it’s the robbers’ responsiblity to not rob you?”
“…There are sick people out there who will rape, just like people will steal, kill, lie and hate. Suggesting ways to protect yourself isn’t blaming you or some conspiracy. When you tell your kids not to go into a stranger’s car, are you part of some vast underground pedophile conspiracy trying to blame children for their own molestation?”
Here’s where Trolly Trollerson is wrong.
Should, and will, [rapists] be punished? Yes, definately.
The truth is: No, not usually.
Why? Because the burden is placed on the victim to prevent the rape. She should have done a bazillion things and not done a bazillion other things and then the rape wouldn’t have occurred. (Notice how “rape wouldn’t have occurred,” which is wording that I’ve read and heard many, many times, removes the rapist from the equation?) The burden of prevention is not placed on the homeowner whose home was burglarized.
“Alright, then. Take home robberies. If someone suggests to you to lock your door and keep valuables hidden and safe, do you yell back that it’s not your responsibility to keep your belongings safe, it’s the robbers’ responsiblity to not rob you?”
Ah, one shit analogy followed by another one. How does a woman turn herself into the equivalent of a locked house? Most women work very hard to maintain our safety so I don’t know where you are getting this bollox that we don’t. We’re human beings with lives to lead (you know like the way men do), but as soon as we live those lives, arseholes like you start pointing the finger telling us we are asking to be raped. Nobody blames the householder if they get robbed. If they left a window open a crime has still been committed, but people will find EVERY REASON IN THE BOOK to blame a woman for a man’s decision to rape her. Start looking at men.
“Should men rape women? No, of course not. Should, and will, they be punished? Yes, definately.”
Men don’t get punished for raping women, you’re talking crap. They get away with it all the time.
“But in the mean time, there are sick people out there who will rape, just like people will steal, kill, lie and hate. Suggesting ways to protect yourself isn’t blaming you or some conspiracy. When you tell your kids not to go into a stranger’s car, are you part of some vast underground pedophile conspiracy trying to blame children for their own molestation?”
I’d say nobody blames the child for the paedophile’s crime but that wouldn’t be true. There are people, like yourself, who will go to great lengths to keep the focus on the victim and what they should and shouldn’t have done, meanwhile treating the rapist like a force of nature who can’t be stopped. People like you are one of the reasons why rapists get away with it so often because everyone is so busy blaming the victim somehow the rapist gets forgotten.
“We’re human beings with lives to lead (you know like the way men do), but as soon as we live those lives, arseholes like you start pointing the finger telling us we are asking to be raped.”
Really? That’s interesting, seeing as how I’ve said nothing of the sort. Arrogate more, please.
“Men don’t get punished for raping women, you’re talking crap. They get away with it all the time.”
Perhaps so. But that has nothing to do with normal non-rapist men offering honest advice to help against, oh I dunno, maybe those same men escaping the law.
“There are people, like yourself, who will go to great lengths to keep the focus on the victim and what they should and shouldn’t have done, meanwhile treating the rapist like a force of nature who can’t be stopped. People like you are one of the reasons why rapists get away with it so often because everyone is so busy blaming the victim somehow the rapist gets forgotten.”
Again, arrogate more, please. Just because someone doesn’t agree with you on one issue doesn’t make them subversive boogey men for all of society.
“Why? Because the burden is placed on the victim to prevent the rape.”
Perhaps, but then this is where you all provide unrealistic expectations. The legal system deals with prosecuting rapists. Everyone else cannot. But for that everyone else that cannot personally sentence rapists, many try to help by offering suggestions and heads-up. Which are met by anger and accusations of condensation and deflecting blame.
But if those same ‘everyone else’ said nothing and sat on the sidelines with their mouths shut, do you really think feminists would go “Hey, thanks for your silence. Thank you, thank you, for not trying to help. We appreciate it”?
“Perhaps, but then this is where you all provide unrealistic expectations. The legal system deals with prosecuting rapists.”
I do not understand how these are unrealistic expectations, surely one could not get more real.
The legal system does not deal with rapists. Rape is not taken seriously, approximately 6% of rape cases that get to court are convicted of their crime. When you combine this with the huge percentage of women who do not even report the crime, it points to a rape culture. We live in a culture, a so-called civilised society that minimises the horrific act of rape, disbelieves the woman if she reports it, and if it does, get to court brings her past previous sexual history for something to be held in “evidence” evidence for what? That she may have deserved it.
Women continue to be questioned regarding their previous sexual history, although this was addressed and disallowed a couple of years ago. Many Judges do not even realise that questioning of the victims sexual past is not permissible. They need to be held accountable, for the way they treat women when they report rape, and do their job properly, gather evidence and make sure the resources are going into that area.
Yes Penis envy this little list may seem like pissing in the wind to someone who is enshrined in the patriarchy, it is the fire beneath most major religions, most political and social systems and it has been rampant across the globe in one form or another throughout known history.
I am not surprised you think we are being unrealistic, so I have just contradicted my self.
“Men don’t get punished for raping women, you’re talking crap. They get away with it all the time.”
Perhaps so. But that has nothing to do with normal non-rapist men offering honest advice to help against, oh I dunno, maybe those same men escaping the law.
What have you contributed here that would help to convict a rapist, any rapist? Not a damned thing that I can see.
Perhaps, but then this is where you all provide unrealistic expectations. The legal system deals with prosecuting rapists. Everyone else cannot.
Because the women here would like to go about their business without the constant vigilance, without watching over their shoulders, without wearing chastity belts, just as you and all men do every day, you say that their expectations are unrealistic. I say, “FUCK YOU, troll.”
The legal system doesn’t deal with prosecuting rapists very well since only a small percentage of rapists are prosecuted via the legal system.
There are more ways to prosecute a person that through the legal system. There is also social prosecution, peer pressure, fear of being an outcast, fear or ridicule, etc. The rest of you “everyone elses” could make it clear to the rapists and would-be rapists in your circles that rape is not okay. You do this by not laughing at rape jokes, by believing rape victims and not even suggesting that they’re lying, by shaming the hell out men who speak about rape as an option or watch rape porn… You fuckers are very quick to claim that “everybody does it” and “it’s a guy thing” when it comes to jerking off to porn. You’re not above encouraging one another to use women and our images for our sexual degradation and your sexual satisfaction. If you’d use that same power that you have over one another to make rape as unthinkable as you’ve made even discussion of not pornsturbating unthinkable, you could make rape something very rare.
“But if those same ‘everyone else’ said nothing and sat on the sidelines with their mouths shut, do you really think feminists would go “Hey, thanks for your silence. Thank you, thank you, for not trying to help. We appreciate it”?”
I, personally, will thank you if you shut the hell up.
What CoolAunt said.
“I, personally, will thank you if you shut the hell up.”
Oh, don’t worry. You won’t hear a peep out of me while you’re getting one up the ass.
I have let this rabid display of misogyny through moderation to enable other readers to have their say if so desired. If there is one thing, sparkle hates with a passion, it is a bully and sexual bullies do not even figure on my ‘are they human’ scale.
Well penis envy it didn’t take long for you to show your true colours did it? You have just proved everyones’ point, (not that there was any doubt anyway) so thanks for proving us right.
I’ll add “penis envy” is the Freudian term used to describe persons without penises.
Henceforce, we should refer to penisenvy as
dickless. (But dickless arsehole is still acceptable.)
Wow a wannabe-rapist on the thread. No wonder he found the rapist checklist so threatening.
I suggest baseball bats and an angry temperament against men who try to treat women the way penis-envy wants to treat women who disagree with him. I hate rapists.
Oh, don’t worry. You won’t hear a peep out of me while you’re getting one up the ass.
You could have just admitted that I’m right. I mean, that’s what you did when you resorted to this ridiculous threat, ridiculous because you have no idea who you’re threatening, big boy, and no way of knowing that I eat punks like you for breakfast. But it would have been so much more constructive if you’d simply admitted that you’ve been talking out of your ass and that you’re wrong. You could have learned a lot here. Instead, you’ve chosen to remain an idiot.
*LOL* that didn’t take long did it. I’ll keep this one bookmarked the next time a Nice Guy ™ tells me that I shouldn’t stereotype people based on gender. Esp when they’re “just trying to help”.
Doesn’t take long for the dipshits to show their true colors, huh. Thanks for admitting to being the misogynist we all knew you were, dickless.
““I, personally, will thank you if you shut the hell up.”
Oh, don’t worry. You won’t hear a peep out of me while you’re getting one up the ass.”
Interesting. I wonder who said that. I wasn’t here all of yesterday. Seems as if someone is trying to slander me.
The penisenvy from yesterday is from Germany (Hesen) with an Anonomouse.org addy, and different IP no. I can see that you are not in Germany. Yes it does look like someone is trying to slander you.
Hence, I only have logged in users able to comment on my blog. The scum element like to hijack not only threads, but identities as well.
I wish I could remember some appropriate German for the interloper, but alas, when I lived in Germany, English swear words were all the rage. So, “fuck off” will just have to do on this occasion.
That makes sense because even though PenisEnvy pissed me off with what was really his last post, I thought that sticking-it-up-my-ass remark was way over the top and not in line PenisEnvy’s particular brand of misogyny.
I put up this list on my own blog, and predictably got comments from a guy that just didn’t get it. He made all the predictable ignorant comments, ranging from “the problem with this sort of thing is that anyone reading it has no intention of raping anyone. And if they do, no amount of “don’t” reasoning will stop them.” That comment basically boils down to a fatalist perspective that will always rape women, and no amount of reason will ever change that. He also said that there’s some biological imperatives in there, and at that point my head just hit the computer desk.
Men are very resistant to new concepts being foisted upon them, particularly ones which challenge their privelige and entitled status. When it comes to putting the onus for rape on men instead of women (thus tearing down their protective blanket that women somehow “ask for it,” which is of course impossible by definition), they’re no less resistant to that notion of common sense than they are to any other initiative that requires them to assume responsibility when they aren’t used to it.
“He made all the predictable ignorant comments, ranging from “the problem with this sort of thing is that anyone reading it has no intention of raping anyone. And if they do, no amount of “don’t” reasoning will stop them.” That comment basically boils down to a fatalist perspective that will always rape women, and no amount of reason will ever change that.”
Fatalist perspectives really piss me off. I always remember, though, and many times remind the owner of the fatalist perspective that if those who went before us believed that way, then (from my US perspective) the US would still be an English colony, black people would still be owned by whites, most women would still die trying to give birth, the flu would still kill most who suffered from it, etc., because all of those things at one time were just the way that things were. Had no one challenged those beliefs, then none of it would have changed. Of course, it’s the changing part that most men are resistant to. Even those who already know and live by the list would have to change; they’d have to challenge their peers who don’t live by the list. Men seem to be terribly concerned about what other men think of them. (Sorry, ladies, but while your opinion of me does carry some weight with me, my opinion of me is much more important to me.)
There is only one solution to preventing males from raping. Since there is no way to predict which male(s) will turn out to be rapists, early and universal castration is the only sure method.
When (at puberty) a male starts producing health viable sperm, he should be taken to a sperm bank and have a series of samples taken and frozen to ensure his own genetic future should the need arise. Then, he (like ALL males) should undergo castration.
This will never come about of course, but if one wants to talk about absolutely preventing rape, it’s the only real way to do it.