ETA: See post seven for new link (for some reason it won’t let me embed it here.)
Re: Olga.
In all my years of studying douchebaggery, never have i encountered anything like this. It’s such pure and unadulterated douche that I wish I could bottle it and use just a drop of it at a time.
The back story on this is that a girl named Olga was out with her friends in the Marina district of San Francisco (known for being a popular hang out for douches), and she talked to this guy named Dmitri for all of two minutes. Then she gave him her card and said “give me a call.” The above is the messages he left. Listen to the whole thing, it just keeps getting better and better. I won’t even tell you my favorite parts because i don’t want to ruin anything. Just listen.
Dmitri is such a catch. What was Olga to let him go?
That should read ‘thinking to let him go’. Dunno what happened. It’s spark’s evol powers again….
Haaaaaaahahahaha!! I have never heard anything so funny! Brilliant. Utterly brilliant. My favourite part: “if you are psychologically normal” WTF! Poor Dmitri seems unwell.
Something tells me Dmitri isn’t ‘psychologically normal’…
Wow. That was just. Wow.
I wish men would leave messages like that for me. I would say goodbye to lesbianism and hello to having me some normal man.
Definitely. Very good catch. What the hell is wrong with Olga???
The video has been taken down?
Sometimes people don’t like you embedding sparks. But it’s still there I just listened to it. Here
Hmm ta Polly I tried embedding the link that you gave and it doesn’t work either…Confucius said…
If you want to listen peeps just click on the link, it really is worth it.
That’s bloody hil-air-i-ous. Wow and now the world knows what a dick he is!
urh….just had a thought…this is the kind of story where Olga ends up being stalked and killed…erm….eek
I know erika, and he has her business card, so he knows where she works.
Ugh.
I feel so dirty, there aren’t enough showers, enough soap, or hot enough water, to ever feel clean again.
Woo hiya CoolAunt, nice to see you back – indeedy.
Likely Olga has not been able to return his call because she and her friends are having a long drawn out spat over who gets him.
Hoy, Sparkles. Thanks for the welcome back. I’ve been back online for about a month and have certainly been visiting here…quietly.
Likely Olga has not been able to return his call because she and her friends are having a long drawn out spat over who gets him.
ROTFLMAO pisaquari!
The five letters that I would have for Dimitri are not
“catch”
but
“loser”
The five letters that I would have for Dimitri are not
“catch”
but
“loser”
Anyone who’s everr gone fishing knows that a catch isn’t necessarily a keeper. There are some that, when caught, you take off the hook and throw back. Dmitri is one of those.
About his requirement that she return his call only if she is emotionally and mentally sound, and only so without the help of health professionals and/or medication, the irony and hypocrisy are over the top, as is his lack of self-awareness.
I wonder how many, if any, men pay for his courses. Talk about the blind leading the blind.
ETA: Although I’m guilty of doing it, too, I wish we’d stop using “douche” as an insult because, once again, we’re insulting something that is for women and, in a roundabout way, our anatomy. sigh
CoolAunt – I feel exactly the same way, I absolutely despise the word. I wouldn’t care, they haven’t been used in the UK on a personal level ever I don’t think, except after gynae procedures.
Coincidentally, “throw” is a five letter word.
You should never laugh your ass off Stormy the boyz will stop finding you “elegent.”
Someone explained to me once that douche is like menz because in the real world they are both completely unnecessary to the health and wellbeing of women and yet the Patriarchy has spent years of time, money, and effort trying to convince us that they are.
Still it is a woman based insult, as are they all.
Because vagina’s are just…wrong.
Well patriarchy tries to tell us that they are and they need to be ‘fixed’
But wait…then they become obsessed with them. Well obsessed with any genitalia really.
Can anyone remember vaginal deodorants? They were a real product. Until it turned out they were really bad for you….
Nowadays we just have deodarants that moisturise your armpit. Because everyone wants moisturised armpits…..
You can still get them, ‘Femfresh’ I’ve spied them in a couple of friend’s bathrooms.
Polly, they’re still around: http://www.fds.info/pages/fds_product_sprays.cfm . Their sales are probably down by 50% or more than they were 20 years ago because most women know now that those products are harmful. The manufacturers and the FDA, however, have not and will not stop their mfr and sales.
Panty liners, when used on a daily basis for that “fresh feeling” (read: always dry again in the time it takes to change liners), are as unhealthy as douches and “feminine deodorants.” I learned that the hard way 15 years ago. I’d been taught to use them daily by my stepmother, who used them daily herself. At 29, I had a vaginal infection that would not go away. After weeks of returning to the doctor, I casually mentioned the panty liners to her during a pre-exam consultation. Until she compared using them to lining the crotch of my undies with Saran Wrap, I’d never thought of it that way, what with their soft cotton top layer. I stopped using them and the infection went away and I’ve not had a vaginal infection since.
FYI cotton-lined rayon undies aren’t much less harmful than wearing panty liners. Yeah, cotton breathes but the rayon outside the cotton doesn’t, making the cotton lining nothing more than an absorbant that protects the rayon from body moisture.
*likes this diversion much better than the original topic*
It totally sucks that I can no longer buy cotton knickers that are comfortable and modest (modesty necessary when wearing the required Sunday skirt among small children – and no, I’m not about to start the battle with 40-denier again, not in a warm country).
Well you live and learn. I remember when vaginal deodorants were first introduced, there was all this stuff about wow here’s a great new product to get rid of the horrible way women’s bits smell. And then there was other fuss about no wait they give you horrible infections, so I thought they’d gone away.
Norah Vincent in her book ’self made man’ writes about how porn vaginas are meant to be dry (except when they’re squirting stuff everywhere) and odourless (as well as hairless). In other words completely unlike real vaginas.
M&S do big cotton knickers over here Sophie. So British women are blessed. Check out these sexxayy numbers.
http://www.marksandspencer.com/gp/search/ref=sr_nr_p_94_4/203-7164523-3103966?ie=UTF8&bannerAltText=RealCool%20Cotton&rs=62810031&sort=-product%5Fsite%5Flaunch%5Fdate&isFromFinder=0&mnSBrand=core&me=A2BO0OYVBKIQJM&bannerWidget=78272602&size=9&rh=n%3A62810031%2Cp%5F94%3AFull%20Briefs&isBrowse=1&page=1
Bet the pantie obsessed chaps from salon rose who were reading my blog have gone into overdrive now. I think I’m going to post a pic just for them.
*likes this diversion much better than the original topic*
Hear that, Dmitri? You’re so horrid that women actually prefer talking about underpants, vaginal infections, crotch deodorants and douches than talking about you.
‘Nowadays we just have deodarants that moisturise your armpit. Because everyone wants moisturised armpits…..’
no no – your armpits really NEED moisturising deodorants.
it’s because of the deodorants drying them up.
err no wait a moment; that would be silly.
surely not!?!
must ask jonny if he can re-explain it to me.
Knickers matter though Cool Aunt. Just not in the way the Salon Rose chaps think they do.
Knickers matter though Cool Aunt. Just not in the way the Salon Rose chaps think they do.
That’s true. I’d still rather have a vaginal infection than a date with Dmitri…or even have him leave me one of his voice mail messages.
I agree with Erika. I was listening to the whole thing, but in-between cracking up from the obliviousness of this idiot I realized that this is the very selfish and misogynist personality that develops into a stalker or rapist.
It’s fuckin scary when men are so stupid and clueless yet so powerful…
Think of the fun you’d have playing it to your friends though Cool Aunt. I wouldn’t mind the phone message. I’d have to kill him on the date though.
I like how he says how great in bed he is. Apparently not. He is former Dr. James Sears of Toronto (who calls himself “Dimitri the Lover” here), who had his medical license revoked after being charged with repeated sexual misconduct. That doesn’t sound like “great in bed” to me. I don’t know about you, but when I think someone is great in bed, I don’t report them to the authorities.
He apparently runs seminars to teach men how to harass and force themselves on women, er I mean, seduce women, for $40 a pop, so they too can be charged with sexual misconduct.
I listened to a radio interview he was on at this site for real men (as opposed to fake men, I guess, who don’t stalk and harass women):
http:// torontorealmen.com/
Well I never Lucky *quell surprise*
I wish the UK were quite as strict.
So, ‘Dimitri the lover’ is a rapist who has been charged with repeated sexual misconduct. Explains why he considers himself the ‘perfect man.’ But then men who commit rape and other forms of sexual violence against women always deny their actions and claim they are ‘perfect.’ So what’s new? Nothing because this is how patriarchy operates – men are human and perfect whereas women are sub-human and in need of constant fixing.
Yup on the subject of doctors (and why ever not, sparks = thread drift) – I had a comment from someone on my blog the other day who had been a victim of sexual assault by a doctor. Saying how glad she was to see someone highlighting the topic. Expect more in the near future, I’m just waiting for a certain hearing to finish….
*snort*
Indeedy I am infamous for my ‘thread drifts’ life’s too short to worry about control issues…drift away.
We’ve had a few diversions so far on this one.
A therapist friend of me said that life was like a journey on a motorway where we keep getting detoured onto off-lying towns…it reflects spark’s philosophy very well, thank you.
And in those off lying towns there are often wondrous things. My life is like that – except for the motorway bit. Direction has never been my forte. Wandering around seeing what happens next is.
Dimitri is a Grade A misogynist, and heavily influenced by porn.
Some further digging around his sites reveals his true self. That of a pornsick misogynist (and hey guess what, he hates feminists/lesbians, pretend to be surprised).
Even though his main sites are on hiatus at the moment, some of the files remain:
dimitrithelover.com/animation/
(warning, very misogynistic (cartoon animations), NOT work safe)
In other unconfirmed reports (heresay), it seems that Dimitri the Luvva-luvva manz is a well-known Toronto fixture that wimminz should avoid — a creepy stalker-perv that tries to brow-beat females into sleeping with him. I pretendz to be surprised at this point.
Sparks, not sure if you want to de-live the link in Lucky’s comment?
This creep reminds me of that other one we had here a few months back … struggling to remember the name … johnny was the religious nutter from menzarebetterthanwotsits, but there was that other one who thought he was the greatest luvva-luvva manz??
Thanks stormy.
Dear oh dear I think we have a little lad with problems; pathological problems, that is.
Can’t remember the name of Mr. luvva-luvva tho’
Can’t remember the name of Mr. luvva-luvva tho’
I vote that we don’t waste brain cells trying to remember. In fact, our energies should be devoted into forgetting.
so mr luvva luvva’s name was not mr luvva luvva.
too hard for this male ‘brain’, alas.
why can’t things have one name??? like dmitri the lover – hmm ok maybe not then.
and jonny will always be in our memories for his brief time here on planet sparks enlightening us all with his unforgettable message.
which i forget just now.
actually, you know i really do forget what he was on about. it’s actually quite nice being male and forgetting lots of rubbish stuff.
I think it was the bible SW. Something about the bible definitely.
Yes it was something to do about the bible. At least he inspired me to investigate the burning question of are menbetterthanwotsits, which of course they are not.
Nom nom nom oh shit I’m down to only two left.
Have you heard that pringles aren’t crisps though? It’s a big legal case….
http://blogs.wsj.com/law/2008/07/07/in-big-win-for-pg-pringles-found-to-be-not-potato-crisps/
I will leave the inevitable jokes up to others….
was it the bible? or the bibble?? or the wibble wibble wibble??? whatever, it was potent.
http://www.pringlesarebetterthancrisps.com
stop the madness – please.
Shame the video you posted is no longer available…
Maggie, It’s working in comment no: 7
arecripsbetterthanpringles? Yes.
I was thinking more about the Seabrooks salt and vinegar getting v upset at being called cis crisps actually.
Or have we finished that one? Cos I still LOL at Delphyne’s cis-limbed.
SW – I would expect you to be really interested in the Pringles controversy. I mean what is more exciting than European Law, only the other day I was having a prolonged conversation about EU procurement regulations……..Zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz
Oh yeah, I’d forgot about cis-privileged generic crisps.
As far as boring goes I’m doing the economic implications of globalization, which would be okay if everyone agreed that it actually EXISTS.
Don’t be silly Sparks, nothing actually exists.
Actually, I’ve moved onto the political implications like an hour ago, and nobody’s really sure about this either.
Alice in wonderland said…
It is quite a big topic for one essay….
Tell me about it…
It’s the cultural, economic and political implications of ‘globs’ (that’s how I short hand it now) plus I have to pull in some other modules…but I don’t really want to think about it yet, I only like squinted at the essay title :/
Maggie, It’s working in comment no: 7
Thanks, Sparkle*Matrix.
I have met loads of “super macho studs-wannabes” talking bullshit like this in my life!
She doesn’t call him so he cannot get his “shag”. And because he cannot get laid, the woman “oppresses” him, thus SHE is the one with the problem. But NOT him. Poor douche-bag!
Pringles…they deliver MSG to the tounge in a way that other crisps do not. They are tounge shaped…That is the evil and the magic!
I’m really not fond of the Pringle Erika, there’s something not quite right about them. They are always on special offer at the Co-op late shop. They are definitely artificial. I prefer the Seabrooks proper crisps. Or the M&S upmarket faux wotsit.
Why are we talking about snax in this thread? Now I know I embrace ‘drifts’ but…
Anywayz I agree polly proper crisps have that greasy tattie taste, nuff said. Bit like pies, I suppose… (if you’re talking cheese and tattie that is)
I think you will find you introduced the topic yourself at no 46 Sparks, oh queen of the POMO thread drift.
‘arecripsbetterthanpringles? Yes.’
ever the heretic! what’s wrong with you? don’t you like cardboard and msg? not ‘artificial’ cardboard, polly, real cardboard, mind.
I’m really not fond of the Pringle Erika, there’s something not quite right about them.
Agreed.
Why are we talking about snax in this thread? Now I know I embrace ‘drifts’ but…
True Ms Sparks, we should be talking about this on the Wotsit thread. So we can impose the Manzatory Death Penalty or something.
You rads just ain’t trying hard enough to make this happen. Shame on all of you.
Word.
Now I know my POMOidness on thread drift is appreciated within the thread in question but does this lead to post drift?
Are these drifts between posts covert, circulating without question or as I have highlighted still open to negotiation and contestation.
Which of course would suggest a pomo style which is not directly beneficial when working with menarebetterthanwotsits types IMNSHO.
As stomstAH has pointed out snax convo in appropriate place please.
This is serious Business.
Even if I did start it…
What I want to know is – What would Plato do?
Plato would say “What are wotsits? Are they a snax or a crisp? The unfolding of a theoretical ideal identification and proper education for its consumers then follows. Plato maintains that there are two levels of awareness regarding ‘snax or crisps’ and very clearly distinguishes between the two: mere opinion and pure knowledge. Claims or assertions about the physical or visible world, including both common sense observations and scientific theories are only opinions. Some of these opinions may be well founded; some may be faulty. Neither, however, is to be considered pure knowledge. Except for the pure knowledge that indeed…wotsitsarebetterthanmen…
He never got round to the thread drift bit…
Actually, the scientificy findings of this thread prove that just about anything is far more interesting than Dimitri.
Really, it’s just a bonus scientificy study.
You fell for my evol plan Sparks – I knew you secretly knew about Plato.
Also I see from Dikipedia, that his father was Ariston. His father was a dishwasher?
It is indeedy stormy a bonus scientificy study. Yeah Polly his dad used to do fiddle work down the Dog and Parrot washing dishes to put little Plato through uni.
I have got the Bruces’ philosophers song stuck in my head now….
Ewwww. Pringles are disgusting. And of course now if you open a pack you could get a can of ashes since the creator of the can was buried in one.
Mmmmm a can full of dead person Pringles. Pringles of the Dead!
Oh bloody gawd no…even in death extolling consumerism.
What can I say? He really liked his creation.
Maybe they all have ashes in them, that could be the secret of the great taste of Pringles.
Conspiracy theorists, us?
My friend used a pringles tin to store his dog’s poo in while travelling and unable to dispose of it elsewhere. What with that and ashes, you can get quite a variety of flavours…
Did you know in one or two Scandinavian countries people like snacking on chocolate-covered Ruffles? Bet you didn’t know that…
And yes, Pringles are nasty. Oh noooes, that means I am anti-chip! Nay, anti-snacking!!
More natural or not too oily salt and vinegary chips are my favorite
My hamster used to like to play in them. Lara, what’s ruffles?
“Lara, what’s ruffles”
: O : O
Here
I can’t believe you people don’t have Ruffles. They’re, like, an American staple to snacking here….
From wiki “McCoy’s (similar UK product)” I see…
No I haven’t had chocolate covered McCoy’s but I have had chocolate covered pretzels.
Free cyber-chocolate covered snax if anyone can notice any changes around here..
This is another experiment.
Changes
Matrix was more fun…
The best way to get null msg (‘cos msg is bad) salt and vinegar crisps is to buy ready salted crisps.
And a jar of pickled onions.
*Every* crisp out here that isn’t plain salted contains msg – I used to be able to get S&V without msg in the UK though, so maybe you guys are lucky. Guess what the effects of loving mothers raising their children msg-poison-free are?
Yup. It’s one of those substances you have to be accustomed to for side-effect-free ingestion.
Bit like sugar.
Chocolate covered salty things are mega addictive though, the work of the devol. It’s the contrasting flavours. Reese’s pieces for instance. Peanut butter covered in chocolate mmmmmmm….
I knows, but I’m not telling….
Salty and sweet
Chocolate-covered peanuts, or Nutella with just about anything….
Ahh, my mouth is watering now.
Hey Sparks, I know I am interrupting your thread drift, but I invite you to my new blog here:
http://rychousmama.wordpress.com
There’s only one blog post since I just created it last night. But I’ll probably add a new post every few days.
I currently have a thing for the McCoy’s Salt & Malt Vinegar.
Not cheezy, but definitely better than menz.
I taste a Third Study coming on…
“If you’re psychologically normal…”
Because one of them has to be?
I think this is a Saturday Night Live skit.
Lara we now have ‘drift layering’ it’s a new concept and very pomo. Woo a blog – do you allow drift?
Hi sis, this shit is real – up thread describes his background.
There will be many studies stormsta, as long as I have drift in my soul and faux cheesies in my belly.
ugh! Can we go back off-topic please…
I’ll allow a little bit of drift, as long as it doesn’t completely hijack a thread
Lara, shouldn’t that be:
I’ll allow a bit of thread, as long as it doesn’t completely hijack a drift?
This is the way it is in faux-cheezy-snax-land.
Hey rads, perhaps we can start some sort of faux cheezy religion out of this? People have started religions out of lesser beliefs/reality.
Ah, didn’t know cheezy snax made everything work backwards, Stormy. I’ll keep that in mind for future reference.
Sparklematrix, can I please add you to my blogroll?
Of course Lara. As you can see the Matrix (Snax?) is quiet at the moment as real life is staring me in the eye….
You want to keep away from that real life stuff Sparkle, it can seriously interfere with the fantasy world of the internetz.
You mean I don’t live in my blog? I wouldn’t have bothered vacuuming the oubliette if I’d known. Saying that I have to remind the trolls to empty their potties.
I take it you have a (virtual) naughty step then. Sadly my trolls have disappeared again (well it was more troll lite really). I knew only the kewl blogs like sparks blog get trolls.
Yes Polly, Sparkle*Nanny has a naughty step. I make them sit there until I decide what to do with them. At the moment I have someone talking about animals/hard wired/biology and copulation – you getting the muse here?
I mean, can I be bothered to take a chunk out of real life yet again to go over the same old? People rarely change their minds, they just reinforce their arguments for the next round – they may even produce new and more comprehensive examples – such as the mating habits of bonobo apes which the constraints of a 1,500 word limit would not allow…
Can I be bothered?
If your question isn’t rhetorical and you really want answers, I say don’t be bothered with it. It’s just the same ol’ same ol’ all over again. And once you give them the stage, they just keep coming back over and over, seeking the attention they enjoy so much. That’s why they say, “Don’t feed the trolls.”
Yeah CoolAunt, I’ve had it with Bio Essentialism.